WTF.....?

Hey Y'all It's been a looooog time. Like 8 years, since I been on here. I am hoping to do more journal entries in the near future. Been going through lots of emotional stuff, unfortunately most of it brought on by yours truly! I have lost so many friends, but to be fair, I have gained some and even more beautiful as people. I live day to day with anxiety and sometimes, it gets downright crippling, but I think that in honesty, no one cares about nobody but themselves and without God, people as an entity will become no better than animals.....soulless, thoughtless, animals. If not for all my bottled up, mixed up, and fucked up emotions, I myself would be nothing more than a common mongrel. Then again, I live in a dog eat dog world.

Not Again.....LOL.....

Yeah, it's that time to go back to work. I had a great Christmas. Just hanging out with family and whatnot. Seeing the look on others' faces, as they open their gifts from me. That's the stuff. I, in turn received some good tidings and joy too, so I can't complain. I also have a few things on the horizon too, on the entertainment and book fronts. But more on that later.

I did do a funny thing though. I left my good winter coat at Chubbie's parents about 3 hours away. They said they are gonna mail it, (which I said wasn't necessary), but at any rate, an expense not warranted or needed. Other than that, it was stellar having all that time off. Mainly, I slept in and relaxed, watched a basketball game and went shopping the day after (gift card redemptions, you know....)

It was fun hanging out today, but my body (psychologically mostly) started aching at the anticipation of going back to work, probably a little bit of a panic attack, but it's all good. I have been watching some Sanford & Son DVDs, that was a show from my youth that used to crack me up. I am hoping that it doesn't get too cold this winter. Last winter was totally nuts, a huge road of solid ice, covered by deceptive powder snow, ahh gotta love that midwest weather. I am all toasty inside.

On The Regular........

Well, it was Halloween weekend and it was actually on the weekend, so bonus for me, right? It was a fun time, We were actually on our way to a show and we had to go through this fair type thing, where everyone was in costume, it was rather cool. They had a cabaret fashion show with everyone in drag and that shit was funny as hell! At least from what I saw.

Chubbie & I dressed up as Spy Vs. Spy and it came out good. Haven't really had time to work on other projects such as my poetry trilogy, but that will be worked on fiercely from now on. At least for one of the books. I am also fervently, writing new material, that no one has seen. I may even keep it secluded, until I release it, since I am doing all the editing myself, so there you have that.

I have Christmas shopping squared away. The Hallowicked show was good too on Saturday. Also, the Lions got tapped again. A "close" loss, but a loss nonetheless. I am trying to blog every 3 days, even no matter how trivial, like this blog, for instance, LOL! Also, I am nursing a lot of internal, emotional pain right now, that I don't care to talk about.

If this year's holiday season is great, as I am predicting, I will consider this a great year......

A Kick In The Ass.....

Hello bloggers and bloggettes! It has been quite some time for yours truly and I must say I am doing good. I have been at a steady job since February. This economy was brutal to me over the past two years. Man it was hard to find a job, but I have to give the credit to God for pulling me through.

That trilogy is kicking my ass. My word processor broke down, finally, after 14 years. We had seen some rough times, me and that WP. Well, this new job treats me well, so I can't complain. I am paid every week and for the most part, have all weekends and requests off, so it's going well.

I been hitting a lot of shows and partying like crazy, LOL! However with partying comes inspiration, especially with all the people I meet. If I am lucky, I will have one of the trilogy books out by next summer and then release the other two the following year. With this economy the way it has been, money is kinda tight, am I right?

There has been some bad news this year for me, at least emotionally. I was on myspace and was looking up something about art in Ann Arbor or something or other and an old girlfriend's profile showed up. I never even knew she had a myspace. Well, she is doing well, not that it is any of my business, nor should I care. But seeing her again, after not seeing her for over a decade, I went into a nervous breakdown, at least emotionally. Still, as beautiful as ever, with everything she has always wanted and I should be happy for her, but I am more mad at myself for even taking time out to even look at her profile. I have got to be the dumbest mother fucker out there to even believe she would ever give a shit as to what or how I am doing. However, I must look at it for inspiration, with me being a writer and all, no?

I had asked opinions of other folks and they have told me that I was an idiot to even give her a second thought. Not that she did anything for me to feel this way, it is just me kicking myself in the ass, for acknowledging anything I felt for her, especially since all this time has past. Ere go, I kick myself in the ass, in order to move forward.

With that said, things have had their ups and downs too. We have had our gas off since July and it sucks taking them cold showers in the fall, let me tell you. However, we have finally got it paid and the gas, and cold showers and cooking with be in full swing by Friday. My girlfriend has been a real trooper, even in our financial hardships, she had kept chin up and nose to the grindstone, no regrets, no complaints. It is amazing that we have been together for 12 years and we still consider ourselves a team, but in this world, we all gotta stand together, unless we fall.

I thought I'd have lots more to say and for the most part I think I have said it all, so far....except that for anyone who has or will ever read my blog, to please check out my poetry on my site, it has been and always will be my passion.

It has been a long time......

Well, this economy sucks! I am temping now, but even that isn't too lucrative. However, I am not in too much of a funk because I have been praying and reading the bible, and it is really helping out alot. I have also been inspired to write more. We are also in the midst of a presidential election and you know they all promise that or that. Also, they promise to create job and whatnot, blah, blah, blah....

Forgive my rant, I know I am not making any sense, but I have to turn it over God and know he will handle it the way he sees fit. However, I encourage us all to help each other. If a friend needs your help, invite him/her to dinner and let them crash on your couch, any help will do. In my case, it's just to talk, you know? That goes along way. Also, for any reading this and you have faith in God, remember me in your prayers and if you comment, I will remember you also.

I know with faith, desrire, and devotion to God, we can get through these hard times.

It's All Good.....

Been just chillin'. I had today off and just lounged around. We supposedly have some folks going around to our stores tomorrow and my GM is trying to score brownie points I am sure, so I have to deal with that bullshit tomorrow and I will definitely let you know how it turns out. It's not really to upsetting, but I just dont like this mother fucker, as a person, so that's why the anxiety (plus I have panic attacks to boot) But, honestly, I know it will be OK.

I am trying to relax and been working on my next project, as you all know it's that trilogy. Man, I cant wait to get this published....

Man Oh Man.....

I almost has to beat a mother fucker's ass today. Normally, I don't use such graphic language, but this guy really burned me up. All over something so trivial, that in the long run wouldn't hurt anyone at all. I guess what I am trying to say is that I believe that there is no one over or beneath another person. If you really look at it, the only thing seperating any or all of us in today's society is money.

Furthermore, the only reason people act the way they do, especially in a corporate setting is money, or fear of losing it "for themselves"! So, does anyone in the workforce actually care for their coworkers or their families, hell no! We are all out to get what we want to get and step on whomever we can to get it.

I guess what I am trying to say is that we should all treat each other good or at least decent, because after all, is the job our life and are we married to the job or our lives? I move to say that my life is much more important than a job anyday and there is no one above me that doesn't bleed, piss, or shit just like I do! In retrospect though, I need to calm down and relax, in the long run, my life is just that, mine....